E Speak: T-Day #2

Saturday Nov 29th, 2008 (Oh yea, I can do dates.)

We had another Thanksgiving. This time with Dada's (Lloyd) side. This time in MY HOUSE! Again, people eating and looking at me. But this time there was a different one, Harrison, my cousin. He is like a less-nimble, less-furry version of Mr. Puddy. Mr. Puddy is the cat. Mr. Puddy is sometimes entertaining, but far from useful. Mr Puddy can manage to get off the floor by himself. I can't say the same for Harrison, currently.














We all sat down at the table and since he can't move as well, just stared at his Dada (Matt, younger brother of my Dada) wondering "What in the hell do I hear breathing behind me?"















It is I. The Smoochie Monster.














"Dada spin me around for a look at this thing," he said. "Holy Jesus! It's huge. But I like it."














He then tried to get fresh with me. Warning: Mature content.














You can't out smoochie THE SMOOCHIE MONSTER! He seemed a little alarmed by my confidence and assertiveness.















He then tried to impress me by being held vertically. Unfortunately, been there, done that.














Anything else kiddo? Then he did the best penguin impression I have ever seen. I went for the high five, but he held character. A man of principle. Very noble. Knightly even.















Then he said, "Try and get this face out of your mind."















I am thankful for your intensity, Harrison and for Nana, Pop, Unkie Matt and Auntie Danza for visiting.

Until we meet again,
E

E Speak:T-Day #1

My Thanksgiving consisted of two Thanksgivings, one with each half of the family. The Mama (Norris) half went first on Thursday. What is Thanksgiving you ask? I don't know. It seems like another day where other people want to watch me eat and make me self-conscious.

We went to Aunt Angie's boyfriend Mike's house. I traveled in my monkey suit, literally. It's blue, one-piece, and has a monkey on it.

What am I thankful for? Grapes - seedless, quartered and served on a plate no higher than 27".




















Next, Dada went and rearranged Mike's living room furniture so we could attempt a mock, homey family photo supposedly for our Christmas cards. If you want to make yourself a welcome guest, go ahead and just move some furniture around.
















Then I got to put on my T-Day outfit. And work it. Fortunately, Mike had a nice stretch of hardwood in his kitchen that I could strut my stuff on. My starting rate is $4.25/half hour plus grapes.




















I gave myself a tour of the staircase. It looks like a futuristic, Asian-inspired prison, but since it wasn't I was happy to see the inside.




















Grammy asked me if I had been good this year. I looked at Mama, secretly pleading "Please don't blow this for me." She winked.

"Absolutely, she's been an angel."















You don't believe her? Well, I will let two people hold me for at least 8 seconds, breaking my personal record by 3 seconds, AND I will allow documentation.

First up, Grampy.





















17 seconds! A new record. As you can tell by her elbow, Mama was only a foot away. Next up, Aunt Angie.





















13 seconds, not as good as Grampy, but Mama backed all the way out of the frame. I watched her closely for signs of imminent departure.

You may have noticed I keep a wipe on hand. You never know when you might need to swipe a boogie away to maintain your lady-like appearance. Mike didn't seem to get it, so I gave him a personal lesson. He wasn't even using a tissue. Everyone seemed to think this was funny. There is nothing funny about snot danglers or gooey fingers.















I give my thanks to everyone.
E