E Speak: Flowbeed by Mom and Dad

I am an attractive young woman. A natural beauty, no make-up, no products, 3-4 baths a week. Yet, somehow these older people who live with me, keep monkeying with my business. Listen to them.

"Do you think her hair is bothering her?"

"I am not sure she comprehends it that way. But, it would probably bother me."

"Should we cut it?"

"As long as she doesn't look like a charity case. Are you talking just the bangs?"

"Yes, bangs only. If we twist it in the center and then take one snip, it should fall pretty nicely. That's how they did my bangs."

Sounds innocent enough, doesn't it? Let me tell you that I have fine, delicate fairy hair that goes predominantly straight forward. Sure it makes me blinky, but that's just how I grant wishes. So, Mom and Pop genius over here twizzle me up and before I can say "WTF Pops?" he snips me.

NOT HAPPY!!! DO I LOOK HAPPY?

So, now they are discussing whether they did a good job.

"I think it's cute."

"I think we are bordering on baby-fairy mullet."

While I sit and ponder about how big a doofus I must look like. Did you consider my face shape?












I went into the bathroom to see if I could repair my departed innocence and I was so shocked at my appearance I must have blinked three times, because NOW I CAN FLY!!! THE IS THE BEST HAIRCUT I HAVE EVER HAD!!!





















You do realize I have no other haircuts to compare it to, so I am merely making my so-called barbershop-savant parents feel better. Sometimes I'm surprised they know at what end to feed me.

Peace,
E