Grub Monkeys

What are they? Devious. Where are they found? Offices worldwide. Can they be stopped? Not by any ordinary repellent.

Say you are holding a morning meeting and there is a bagel tray. Being a standard business person you want to under-promise and over-deliver, so when you say "bagels at the meeting" you feel the need to include in the order a buffer of bagels, just in case Big Frank shows up grumpy. Now, ultimately the bagel tray is under-consumed over the course of the meeting. As you wrap up by saying, "That completes the agenda for today, I'll summarize the key points and email them out," you turn to find a random co-worker gripping a bagel half and growling. This is a grub monkey.

Grub Monkey - noun - Co-worker who plots and scavenges for office food at the instant it becomes "leftover" (sometime they even sneak under the lid unsupervised).

They use a broad array of tactics. 1) They inquire as to where unopened food trays are being used and at what time. 2) Set motion detectors near main conference room entrances. 3) Tend to circulate for non-business reasons at or near the hour. 4) They angle their chairs towards cube openings to expedite exit when they are surprised by an "extra-food" email. 5) They utilize the grab then sort and discard method ensuring premium intake. 6) They are friendly until you are no longer needed as a decoy.

They have yet to be photographed in the wild, so let me know if you snap one.