Heaven in a brown bag. Actually, I wrap them in foil, but you get the picture. Personally, I don't know why they are referred to as "loose." Is it a nice way to say "slutty?" Does it put out on a first date?
"I'm having a slutty meat sandwich today," i.e. I'm meeting the "anything for $5" Ham twins for drinks and then it's back to my place.
I guess the same could be said for Easy Cheese. I assume that refers to the convenience and speed of application, but then again it comes out ribbed for his and her pleasure. It's a firm 8 oz. of aerosol cheese, capped with a pressure-sensitive pleasure dispenser. I probably just lost Kraft as a sponsor.
Anyway, the concept of a loose meat sandwich is simple; meat, toppings and condiments between bread. But HOW it can be messed up. The main issue for me is the equitable distribution of ingredients. It is not a "loosely-arranged" meat sandwich. The meat is loose, which I take to mean "detached from the animal," but it should not be haphazardly flung about the sandwich. I should not have to open my mouth more in the middle than at the edges.
An tragic offender on this front was Schlotzsky's deli. They had a franchise in Bloomington, IN for a while, but as much as I cared for their ingredient combinations, they could not construct a well-balanced sandwich to save their lives. There would be a half-inch perimeter of bread surrounding a plum-sized core of finely-shaved meat. That franchise closed, but it appears they are still in business. Maybe they have since brought on a quality control team. Another sponsor ruled out. Penn Station, Subway are you listening?
So, if you want to construct a top notch sandwich, learn how to lay meat. Again, inappropriate sounding, but it is a crucial skill that should be taught in Home Economics, if it still exists in today's curriculum. Which it should. If I were interviewing students for a job, I would pass over the perfect SAT score valedictorian for the C student with a photo portfolio of well-constructed sandwiches. It shows creativity, attention to detail and fiscal responsibility.
Also, if you are going be "health-oriented" and offer sprouts, they should never be more than a quarter inch thick. My sandwich does not need an insulating layer of sod. Ease off Moonbeam.
"I'm having a slutty meat sandwich today," i.e. I'm meeting the "anything for $5" Ham twins for drinks and then it's back to my place.
I guess the same could be said for Easy Cheese. I assume that refers to the convenience and speed of application, but then again it comes out ribbed for his and her pleasure. It's a firm 8 oz. of aerosol cheese, capped with a pressure-sensitive pleasure dispenser. I probably just lost Kraft as a sponsor.
Anyway, the concept of a loose meat sandwich is simple; meat, toppings and condiments between bread. But HOW it can be messed up. The main issue for me is the equitable distribution of ingredients. It is not a "loosely-arranged" meat sandwich. The meat is loose, which I take to mean "detached from the animal," but it should not be haphazardly flung about the sandwich. I should not have to open my mouth more in the middle than at the edges.
An tragic offender on this front was Schlotzsky's deli. They had a franchise in Bloomington, IN for a while, but as much as I cared for their ingredient combinations, they could not construct a well-balanced sandwich to save their lives. There would be a half-inch perimeter of bread surrounding a plum-sized core of finely-shaved meat. That franchise closed, but it appears they are still in business. Maybe they have since brought on a quality control team. Another sponsor ruled out. Penn Station, Subway are you listening?
So, if you want to construct a top notch sandwich, learn how to lay meat. Again, inappropriate sounding, but it is a crucial skill that should be taught in Home Economics, if it still exists in today's curriculum. Which it should. If I were interviewing students for a job, I would pass over the perfect SAT score valedictorian for the C student with a photo portfolio of well-constructed sandwiches. It shows creativity, attention to detail and fiscal responsibility.
Also, if you are going be "health-oriented" and offer sprouts, they should never be more than a quarter inch thick. My sandwich does not need an insulating layer of sod. Ease off Moonbeam.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment