Misplaced Stuff

Do you ever misplace stuff? Put it one place and not find it there later. Sometimes Christa "cleans" or "reorganizes" around the house, which always results in my things being taken from there "special place." Their "special place" being somewhere I can find them, usually by sight. Christa is much more of a infer the location of things person. She has a connection with the inanimate, often running into them, like the bedpost, at the foot of our bed. Sure it's covered with a blanket and below eye level, but it is always there. Why is it the bed's fault? Would it be better if we moved it everyday?

Unlike the bed, my half-dirty shorts get moved to new and exciting locations like the laundry hamper or back into my shorts drawer. If it was dirty, I would put it in the laundry. I understand that basic concept. But they are half clean; worn, but not ass-nasty. Therefore, they should not go back into the drawer. That is for the clean shorts. So I give them a "special place" on the floor within a two-foot radius of my dresser. Now, to be clear, I don't have an infinite number of half ass-nasty shorts laying around. I go from half- to full-ass to laundry before selecting another pair.

There are a multitude of factors to consider when assessing the ass-nastiness of a given garment, including: description and duration of activity, temperature, and pre-existing conditions of the user and the garment. For example, 8 hours sitting around a climate-controlled house, watching TV, having showered that morning would contribute no more than a half-ass of nastiness, so depending on the initial ass-nastiness, this pair would get the hamper or return to the "special place." Whereas, 30 minutes, riding a vinyl-seated bike on a Midwest summer day to and from a port-a-potty where you reunited last night's curry dinner with the good earth from which it came, could take you from zero to double-ass-nasty, regardless of your bathing record. I could build you a formula, but you can use the nearly as reliable sniff check.

I can't blame Christa for all of the issues I am having with "disappearing" stuff. Honestly, I think the baby does it on her own. I put her down to play with something and then go make a snack and run an errand. By the time get back she is no longer where I left her. How am I supposed to keep her safe if she is moving around unsupervised all the time? Regardless of what Christa says, my shorts have never gotten up and put themselves in the hamper. How come that's where I always find the baby?