Do Not Bucks Your Child

She didn't sleep for three days, vibrating like Beavis!

Before the good parent po-po alert authorities, here is why E-Biscuits is drinking Starbucks.

She has yet to fully embrace milk. She fully embraces Starbucks cups. We put milk into a Starbucks cup to try and trick her into drinking milk. She also likes straws. She will always try a drink from a straw and especially a straw in a Starbucks cup. When she has a mouthful of fluid from the straw and assesses its taste as "not what I was looking for," she simply opens her mouth and lets the fluid flow back out and onto whatever lies beneath, usually her, occasionally it makes it to the floor. This picture is merely parental trickery and not purely bad parenting.




















Over the past month and a half she has begun to drink milk, but never her milk. She prefers to steal beverages from others. So, if I am drinking milk and happen to put a straw in it, she will usually take a couple sips. She is also all about carbonated beverages. Christa was waiting for some fast food and had her drink, a Diet Coke, which had a straw.

Emmy saw the straw and said, "Might I bother you for a sip of your beverage, Mummy?" (She is even cuter British.)

Christa thought, "It's Diet Coke. It tastes like ass sweat. She won't like it. I'll let her try it so she won't bother me in the future."

Needless to say that backfired. Now E is like a koala bear in heat whenever a soft drink is present. Clinging with feet and hands, constantly maneuvering to get an angle on the liquid goods. She will hug you and look you in the eyes to say, "I love you so much." It's really cute and you think for just a second, "I love you too." Then you look down and she has four fingers in your drink that she quickly retrieves and sucks clean. "The Beverage Bandit strikes again!"