Sunday, January 11, 2009

Resurrection - Pros and Cons

Pros - You come back to life.
Cons - I assume it is dependent on how and where and when you die. Jesus had just a couple manageable holes in his extremities and he was arguably at or near the prime of his life.

Bad When - Say you were a crumpled sack of a man at age 109. Do you really want to hop back into that body only to be angry, bed-ridden and low on retirement funds? So it is really only useful if you die untimely, as in early. Thus you must seek ways to prematurely die in order to use it. That is not the best way to get the most enjoyment out of life.

Bad How - Any way that leaves you a person in pieces or makes your body useless. Say you die from a lack of oxygen at 27 but no harm is done to your physical body. Great. But your relatives not knowing you intended to resurrect yourself cremated you. How do you resurrect from a cremation? Do you think your ashy pieces will reform and rehydrate like the liquid Terminator?

Bad Where - Anywhere you are not going to get out of, even with a second chance. Say you went down with the Titanic in your economy cabin. Let's also say resurrection gives you a full clean breath of air. Five days later you wake up and make it out the door. Five days later, you swim down the hall. Five days later, up the stairs. Five days later, the poop deck. You expire and float to the surface. Good News, right? Five days from now you'll be alive again and able to get a second breath. What are the odds that in the 25 days under the sea, some, or many creatures haven't eaten you? A single crab could eat you in 25 days and they have exoskeletons. Try getting your molecules out of an exoskeleton when you need to get back together again.

My advice is that if you plan on resurrecting yourself, do it in a comfortable place, in a comfortable way and leave a note.

1 comment:

Grammy said...

Oh my poor darling. beautiful granddaughter! Quick get her in a church!!!

P.S. It's the spirit that gets resurrected, not the physical body, so makes no difference what state your body is in. Guess when you were reading your Bible at night you must have been interuppted with EmzBear and missed that part. If you want, I will send you some scriptures. :)