I think going to college is important. So important, I went three times. I have decided to put Emmy on the college track. I haven't hired a tutor. I haven't applied early bird to Berkeley. I do not recite the periodic table to her. No. I have begun teaching her the survival skills needed to get to her future diploma.
Step one: Order a pizza.
Step two: Practice rolling your own with a pepperoni.
Step three: Realize practice has made you hungry and enjoy pizza while watching TV. Skipping the utensils, plates and general decorum.
Step four: Bet your friend you can finish all the pepperoni.
Step five: Lay around waiting for the boot and rally, wishing mid-terms weren't tomorrow.
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