Dr. Pepper Part Deux (Pre-Historic #2)

Here is the other historic post from October 2006.

(Action)

How many flavors in a Dr. Pepper?

As I enjoyed my lunch today, I glanced at my beverage of choice this day, which like most days was Dr. Pepper. On the can was a graphic stating it contained 23 flavors. 23? They have made this a selling point in their TV campaigns. Why? Dr. Pepper has one flavor, and that flavor is "Tasty." Ice cream shops have 23 flavors, the whole shop, not each ice cream. If pressed I would have considered Dr. Pepper a version of a black cherry soda with a subtle tweak of something. No wine claims more than five flavors, notes and finishes, but Dr. Pepper goes with 23.

What could these 23 be? According to the can they are all "artificial." I think this is a chemist's way to say "beyond comprehension of human taste buds." Name a fruit, vegetable or spice and it is probably in there. Say my uneducated assumption of black cherry is present. Add blackberry, raspberry, plum, grape, cantaloupe and mango. I am at seven. I would say caramel, but the label says only caramel color is a part of this concoction. Since it is called Dr. "Pepper" I will assume there are some peppers in it. Green, red, jalapeño and three other undisclosed exotic varieties. I'm at 13. Only ten left. Cinnamon, nutmeg, cilantro, parsley, just a hint.

Only six left, since it is "Doctor" Pepper maybe something from the apothecary. Yes apothecary, since the can clearly states "Est. 1885." And an apothecary in Texas no less. Swamp juice, prairie dust and ground armadillo shell. If we consider the Texas well water as having an innate flavor, I am going to guess the flavor master probably spat tobacco juice and urinated in the barrel to top off the brew.

Now that I have devised the component flavors of my loose meat sandwich accompaniment of choice, who would actually want to drink it? Not many I assume. So, I ask why not cut to the chase. Advertising 23 flavors does not make me believe the Messiah of carbonated beverages resided in Waco in the late 1800's and his gift to the world was Dr. Pepper. It makes me believe somebody was trying to home brew a varnish remover and forced "Slow Cousin Enos" to drink it and much to the his surprise, Enos loved it.

In summary, 23 bad, "Tasty" good. Let's leave it a mystery.

Thank you for your time.

(And scene)

Again not too bad. Obviously the 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper has occupied what would otherwise be valuable brain space for quite some time.